Education Hot Seats, Reality Checks & a Red Flag Romance

My new book Here Comes the Drama: A Ferris and Sloan Story is live!

Weddings can bring out the best and the worst in families but what happens when the drama takes center stage?

In this episode, Christa and Colleen Borgert dive deep into a story about a whirlwind engagement, a strained family dynamic, and a wedding that almost didn’t happen. Did the bride make the right choice when she called off the marriage after just one month?

Tune in as Christa and Colleen share candid thoughts on red flags, family loyalty, and how important it is to trust your instincts when the pressure’s on. A powerful reminder that it’s never too late to walk away from a bad relationship.

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Episode Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction

07:22 Teaching Background and Career Path

12:14 Wedding Would You Rather Questions

18:41 Meeting Her Husband at a Wedding

24:36 Discussing Wedding Food and First Dances

30:12 No Ring No Bring Wedding Policy

36:20 Wedding Story Submission

42:26 Red Flags in the Relationship

48:42 The Divorce and Moving Forward

54:39 Wedding Confessions

Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments

Engagement Red Flags – The couple’s whirlwind engagement raised questions about moving too fast and overlooking key signs.
Family Drama Unfolds – The bride’s experience with her fiancé’s family dynamics and how it impacted her big day.
The Sister’s Role – Colleen shares her thoughts on the fiancé’s younger sister and the implications of her behavior.
Unspoken Expectations – How family members’ expectations can shape wedding plans, and the consequences of unmet expectations.
The Pushback on No Kids Policy – Colleen’s wedding no-kids policy and the pushback it created from family members.
Taking Control of Your Wedding – The importance of setting boundaries with family members and ensuring the wedding day feels right for the couple.
Dealing with Toxic Family Members – The challenges of navigating toxic family relationships and prioritizing your own happiness.
A Bold Divorce Decision – The courage it took for the bride to end the marriage and choose a life that was healthier for her.

Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode

“Sometimes the most dramatic moments are the ones that push us into the right decision.” – Christa Innis
“There’s no rule that says you have to settle for a big wedding if it doesn’t feel right for you.”– Christa Innis
“When we look back at those relationships, we realize: we were just rushing for the sake of rushing.”– Christa Innis
“If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut, even if everyone else says you should push through.”– Christa Innis
“Wedding day stress isn’t just about the day it’s about what it reveals about the people around you.”– Christa Innis
It’s not about the number of guests, it’s about the intimacy and connection you want to share.” – Colleen Borgert
“Some family dynamics are just too toxic to navigate around. You’ve got to know when to step away.” – Colleen Borgert
“At that moment, I realized that the wedding I envisioned wasn’t the one that was actually happening.” – Colleen Borgert
“It’s hard to face red flags when you’re too caught up in the idea of what should be.” – Colleen Borgert
“A good family should never make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, it should always feel like a safe place.” – Colleen Borgert

About Colleen:

Colleen Borgert is a Catholic ESL Director, wife, and mom with 15 years of experience in education. She is passionate about advocating for all students and dedicated to unlearning and growing into the best version of herself. Colleen’s journey into TikTok began as a way to raise awareness for a comfort closet in her school, providing essential items like toothbrushes, socks, and deodorant for at-risk students. Her efforts gained traction, and after the election, her content evolved to reflect the changing landscape of education. Now, Colleen shares insights on shifting educational laws and provides parents with important updates on what’s happening in their local schools.

Follow Colleen Borgert:

Join the Drama with Christa Innis:

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Submit your story today: Story Submission Form

Follow us on social media for updates and sneak peeks at upcoming episodes. Your stories inspire the drama, the laughs, and the lessons we love to share!

A Team Dklutr Production

Blog Transcript:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Christa Innis: Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of, here Comes The Drama. It’s so funny, I put together these intros week after week and you know, I thought it would seem more and more natural, but like sometimes when I read off things, it just feels like I. Uh, not very natural to me. But anyways, thanks for being here, guys.

I’m excited to share another exciting episode. We are joined by Colleen Bogart this week. She’s also known as Leanie Borg on TikTok. She is a Midwest mom educator and all around advocate for her students who need it most. Colleen is known for her heart humor and the way she shows up unapologetically herself.

But don’t let the smile fool you. She’s not afraid to speak up. Stand strong and keep it real both in and out of the classroom. In this episode, we play around of would you rather dive into some wedding hot takes, of course. And then finally, we react to a wedding story submission with an ending you will not see coming.

And I just wanna say, I had so much fun hanging out with Colleen. She’s so real. She was so much fun, and I’m excited for you guys to hang out with us. So without further ado, here’s our episode. Enjoy.

Hi, Colleen. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much. I’m so excited. I’m so excited to have you here. I mean, I think I was telling you before we started recording, like I came across your stuff on, on TikTok and ology. Probably like, I don’t even know, time is, time is funny, but it was probably like over a year ago.

I just love the stuff you put out. So thank you for taking the time and being here today.

Colleen Borgert: Thank you. Yeah. Um, I’ve been on TikTok a little over three years now and have been following you and all of your wedding shenanigans that you put out there and amongst everything that’s happening, like you’re really good comedic relief for me, so I appreciate that.

Christa Innis: Oh, good. Oh, that’s, I love, I love hearing that. It’s kind of goofy just how the internet, I was just telling someone it feels like, it’s like talent show on like. Phone, you know, like you’re scrolling. And I just kind of like pic feel, feel like it’s like talent showing when you’re like in elementary school and everyone’s like, Hey, check out what I got.

And then it’s like the next person, they’re like, Hey, check out what I have to say. And it’s just like this funny world we live in

Colleen Borgert: it, it really is. You know, like I can envision myself doing like little somersaults on, on the stage in middle school being like, TA Yes. And now here we are.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. So true.

And just like the world, I mean, you cover a lot of it too. I feel like the world and everything that’s going on, it’s just like, there’s so many, there’s a lot of negative things going on in the world. Scary things. Mm-hmm. And so I just, I feel like maybe it’s my way of detaching. I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s, yeah.

But, um, but you know, and

Colleen Borgert: thing, things are really heavy right now and, and they’re really heavy for people of all ages, especially in education and that detachment piece, like that’s needed. So we can get up every day with a full bucket. And get to work and keep changing lives. So your detachment is my, is my healing.

So I appreciate you so much.

Teacher Turned Advocate

Christa Innis: Well, thank you. I know. I appreciate what you do too. Can you tell everyone a little bit about yourself, what you do, and kind of how that pivoted into what you share on social media?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. So, um, this is gonna be my 15th year in education and I’ve kind of always had more of a social work type background.

And that’s originally what I got into TikTok for. Um, I was raising awareness to help build a comfort closet for, um, kiddos in my school that were from at-risk backgrounds. So, um, I would put out items that we needed, like toothbrush, socks, toothpaste, deodorant, um, just to get eyeballs on that Amazon wishlist link, and then it kind of blew up from there.

And then. After the election when everything kind of in my world pivoted and changed a little bit, so did my content. Um, because everything in the education world is shifting and changing and I wanted to let parents know, Hey, this is happening in your neck of the woods, so come on up to the front and hear about it.

So now I share more, um, educational laws that are changing, things that are adapting within the educational world.

Christa Innis: I love that. I feel like it’s so important because I, I’ve seen especially in your own content too, people will sign off on things or they’re like, agree with something until they really get to the nitty gritty and they’re like, wait, what’s happening?

Wait, department of Education’s going away. You know, and they’re like picking up these things. They’re like, wait, what does that actually mean? And they need people that are in it that know the ins and outs to explain it.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. And, and it’s easy for every single person to kind of wear a school hat in the sense because they were a student at one point in their lives, but the lens that they see things through is that student lens and maybe not what’s behind the curtain.

So hopefully I can just pull that curtain back for people and let them see the nitty gritty of what things actually mean.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so like what. Kind of going back, what inspired you to initially become an educator? You said you started with social. Did you start with social work and you were kind of in that field and then you kind of moved into be teaching?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah, so, um, I kind of was always in the school social work realm. And then just recently, a few years ago, I kind of navigated more into the classroom and now I work at a Catholic school. So I’m a Catholic, um, English, a second language director. And um, what I do is I ensure kiddos that do not have English as a first language, have equitable education.

Um, now more than ever. That’s extremely important. Um, I think that I feel. So I shouldn’t say think. Mm-hmm. I feel so passionate about this because I also grew up in an extremely, like poor environment, poor households. So I know what it took to like claw my way to get here. And I know that if it’s possible for me, it’s possible for other kids if I can just be that adult that I needed when I was younger.

So that’s definitely what fuels me every day that I get up and I go to school.

Christa Innis: I love that I’ve, I’ve heard that quote before about like, you like need to almost think about who you needed as a child because that’s gonna, that should be kind of like who we are as adults, because that’s gonna kind of put us back in that mind frame of like, okay, I really need an adult to hear me.

I really needed an adult to support me or understand me. Um,

Colleen Borgert: to make you feel seen and valid.

Christa Innis: Yeah, absolutely. I feel like that’s. I feel like that’s such a pivotal thing to remember because we get kind of lost in the day to day. And then especially as educators, you want someone to really care. Like, you know, my, my daughter’s too young for school yet, but when she’s in school, I’m like, you want a teacher like that that’s gonna really think like, okay, they’re gonna hear everything I say or they’re gonna see me as a person, like even if I’m quiet or, you know, those kind of things.

Colleen Borgert: Absolutely. And see the parent too, because the parent is an important part of all that.

Teacher Balancing Truth & Boundaries

Christa Innis: Yeah. Mm-hmm. So do you think, so I know you’ve kind of posted before about like, like your content changing, especially after the election, but I think even before the election you were kind of, you know, talking a little bit more about what could happen, these kind of things.

So with working at a Catholic school, is it hard to kind of. Do you have to stay in line with certain things or say certain things? I don’t wanna like get you in trouble either, so I wanna make sure you’re saying things that are okay. Mm-hmm. You know, like, are there guidelines like you, can you say certain things online or where does that fall in line with your teaching?

Colleen Borgert: Well, I think in general that is kind of just a teacher box that everyone has to stay in. Um, when it comes to my Catholic faith and, and where I align, at first I was really nervous to kind of like go out in those waters and let people know like, Hey, I’m a, I’m not a public school teacher. I’m a Catholic school teacher.

But once I showed people that. I am here for all kids regardless of religion, race, background, culture. People started to see my authentic, you know, views that I wanted to present and the information that I was giving people and it was well received. There are definite lanes that you have to stay in, um, as a teacher.

And then I think my lane is just a tad bit smaller being a Catholic school teacher, but the things that I am bringing are fact-based. Educational laws to people. So I’m really proud of that. And I think as long as I stay in my lane, you know, I’m good. And I’ve had a lot of wonderful support from my school community.

Um, they have backed me up 110%. Um, they believe that every child has the right to a free and equitable education as I do regardless of race and religion. So it’s been really good. Um, but at the end of the day, I’m an adult and I have to be able to control what I say to stay in that lane.

Christa Innis: Yeah, no, absolutely.

No, I love it. I love that they’re, they’re behind you. ’cause I mean, just in general with like content creators, like just different jobs, I’ve heard different stories where they’re like, you can’t say this, you can’t post this, you can’t do this. Um, so it’s really good to hear that there’s like supportive, um, uh, schools and communities out there.

Colleen Borgert: Oh wait, I totally butchered

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Christa Innis: that question, but chair, like a pivotal moment in your life that kind of shaped how you approach teaching.

Colleen Borgert: Um, I think one thing that changed my view on how I view all kids in the classroom is my son was diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome when he was in kindergarten and. As a parent, just hearing that diagnosis, not knowing what that looks like, um, in our, in our lives, let alone in the classroom, surrounded by, by kids he does not know.

It, it really made me like peel back my eyelids and open my eyeballs to every single kid has something different that’s going on inside of them. Mm-hmm. Every single kid that is in front of me is going to feel one way or another on a certain day. And my son deserved to have a teacher that was like, okay, you are different and you’re unique and that’s wonderful.

And how are we going to ensure that you get the exact same care and attention as every single other kiddo. Mm-hmm. In here. And I think as we’re looking at things today that are happening, happening politically. We have to remember that we are all just one diagnosis away from having a unique child. We, you know, we are, we’re one car accident away from having a child that might need to be in a wheelchair that is going to need different accommodations and is going to need a teacher that is, is loving and caring and will do absolutely everything for your kid.

Like they would for Susie Hugh, who is always there 20 minutes early, raising our hand star reader. Mm-hmm. Like every single child is different. And I want my kid to have a teacher that loves on him. Like I love on every single baby that I see every single day of the school year. Mm-hmm. So, like his diagnosis, it, it was rough for us.

It was scary. We didn’t know what that would look like. So that, that was, that was hard.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I think that that’s, yeah. Such an important thing because like you said, anything can change in a minute. I think. A lot of times people just like look at like, what’s gonna affect me and me only? Mm-hmm. And if you look outside and say like, well, how is this affecting other people?

Or how is it affecting that family? Or how is it affecting this family that leads to more compassion and empathy and understanding. I think that’s really what the world lacks. Because, because, um, not to like generalize, but I just feel like those are the things I’ve observed is like there’s a certain group of people that let’s look at like, well, it doesn’t bother me, so I’m fine.

Right. It’s like what anything can change, anything could happen. Like you said, like mm-hmm. Um, emergencies happen all the time or you know, I don’t know. Things, things just can change quickly. Um, that’s, yeah. That’s such a good thing to think about. Um, okay.

I wanna switch into the wedding, wedding kind of topic.

And as I was kind saying to you before we started recording is like I’m adding, I’m kinda shifting these podcast episodes a little bit different to like more conversations in the beginning, but I still haven’t kind of figured it out a transition. Sometimes it just happens naturally and other times I’m like, all right, so onto the wedding stuff.

So sorry if it seems kind of abrupt. We’re working on it. No first timer here. I think it seems fabulous. Okay. I was just like talk my way through stuff. ’cause I’m like, or like, what is it called? Not talk my way through it. I don’t know, I just like when I dunno what I’m doing, I just keep talking and figuring it out.

Girl. Same. And you’re a hand talker. So, oh my gosh. The number of people, when I first started making content that would like, like hate comments about like me using my hands, I was like,

Colleen Borgert: I dunno, I don’t know. Yeah. It just happens. I get the same. And then my next video I come out 10 times harder just like.

Christa Innis: You thought it was bad before, just wait. I know, right? It’s like, I will make sure I do it now. Well, yeah. And so one comment I got last night was, um, like I, because you know, I do like the skits and stuff, but every once in a while I come on and I’ll like explain something or I’ll give like a little background.

Someone basically was like, no one likes when you do that. Like, don’t come on and explain things. We’re here for the skits and the skits only. Don’t talk and waste our time.

Colleen Borgert: People are so rude keyboard warriors nowadays. Like, it’s absolutely ridiculous. It’s, I know, it’s crazy. I just have to

Christa Innis: laugh at the ridiculous ones.

Weddings Would-You-Rather

Okay, so starting off, let’s do a little, um, wedding. Would you rather Ooh. Completely Just random. So, okay. Um, it’s a lit, some of them might be a little tied to being a teacher, but then we’re gonna do like other ones. So here we go. Okay. Would you rather have to teach a class of 30 kids in full bridesmaid attire or chaperone recess in high heels the day after a wedding?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my goodness gracious. Well, with the amount of dancing that I do and the way that I get into shout and put my hands up in the air, yeah, I’m definitely gonna go with the 30 kids in the classroom like, yeah. A bridesmaids dress. I love a good dress up any day of the week.

Christa Innis: Yes, I know. It’s a fun, fun excuse to have like a princess day or something.

Colleen Borgert: Right. Like since Wynn is dressing up bad at school, so I, I totally will take that. But my 41-year-old body nowadays after wedding dancing, I can’t like, oh my gosh. Beautiful day recovery and yeah.

Christa Innis: No

Colleen Borgert: fun.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I know. It’s funny how that like just changes all of a sudden, like I’d be like, when people have like the full wedding weekend, I’m like, I need like one big day and then I need like a couple days of recovery.

Thank you. Yes.

Colleen Borgert: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Mm. Yeah. After, after a good wedding, you know?

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. Okay. Uh, would you rather give a wedding toast with no preparation or do the Chacha slide solo in front of the whole reception?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. Chacha real smooth now. Mm. Um, I would much rather. I think just give a wedding toast.

Like, it, it, I’m a group dancer, but solo dancing, like my, my, my face drops. Like my, my face gets serious. It’s, it’s not very cool to look at. I don’t think anyone would want that, but hand me a mic and I, you know, cheers the bride and groom. That’s something I can get behind. Get behind. Yeah.

Christa Innis: Yeah. All right.

Um, would you rather attend a wedding where the ceremony lasts three hours? Or one where the DJ only plays kids? Bop.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, okay. Um, that’s a tough one. Oh man. This is, this is almost like, would you rather go to a three hour PD or do a kids bop after school hour? Oh my gosh. I, I, I think I know, I think I’m gonna still go with the three hour ceremony.

Christa Innis: Oh, I

Colleen Borgert: know. At least. At least it’s quiet.

Christa Innis: least it’s quiet. Oh my gosh. I think I would go kids b really? Every once in a while. I don’t know if it’s ’cause of my, my daughter’s too. And so every once in a while, like I get really into those kids bumps. I mean, we, I mean they, they are catchy. They’re, they’re catchy. Luckily she’s really into Wicked now.

So we listen to the Wicked soundtrack, but play, I love it. But, uh, I love a good, you know, Disney, so I don’t know about Kids. Bop we’ll see how that would go. But I

Colleen Borgert: think it’s because when I imagine kids bop, like I imagine like kindergartners. All up on me, you know, like jamming with me with their hands going down, you know, like yeah.

That’s just the vision that I have from the experiences. So yours and mine, maybe a little different.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Different vibe. Yeah. Um, would you rather sit at the all singles table with ex students? Oh, ex students’ parents, or be seated next to the couple’s ex.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. I, I actually would take the parent table for sure.

Yeah. Without a doubt. I have been really blessed with wonderful parents and that’s, you know, I did eight years in public school and I’m still connected to so many of my public school parents that I love and adore. And the last like five years in the Catholic school system, like I just, I’ve been really lucky, so.

Oh good. I bet that table’s really fun. Signed up. Yeah.

Christa Innis: And like all those parents, like letting loose. I bet it would be like a great table,

Colleen Borgert: right?

Christa Innis: Yes. Love that. A

Colleen Borgert: for everybody. Yes.

Bridesmaid Dress Drama

Christa Innis: Okay. Would you rather wear a neon bridesmaid dress that clashes with your skin tone or have the name, or have your name spelled wrong on every wedding program?

Colleen Borgert: Oh my goodness. So I am the worst speller in the world. I can totally see me misspelling something in my own wedding. I, I probably did to be honest. Um. I also wore the wrong colored bridesmaid’s dress in my cousin’s wedding two years ago. So I’ve done that as well. Um, but I’m still gonna have to go with if that bride wants me to wear, you know, the worst color in the world.

But she is like, this is my vision. I’ve I’ve got you.

Christa Innis: Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: I’m, I’m ride or die for the bride. So you,

Christa Innis: you strike me as someone that would be like a really great bridesmaid. Like, you’re like hands on. You’re like, what do you need? I got you. Like, I just get that vibe from you.

Colleen Borgert: Well, until, until literally you see that I bought, I bought the wrong color, which is before we’re walking down the aisle.

So there when you’re

Christa Innis: walking down the aisle,

Colleen Borgert: oh my gosh. We walked into like the get ready room where all the dresses are hanging up. Yeah. And the maid of honor comes up to me and she’s like, oh, Pauline. Have you seen your dress? And I’m like, yeah, it’s hanging up. It’s so cute. She’s like, it’s the wrong color.

So everyone had gotten like a, a, a shade of sage. Okay. And mine was just a different shade of sage green. And

Christa Innis: you could tell So it from different like places or like, she told you like, oh, get it sage. And just sent like a picture of what she liked and then everyone just went and got thrown or, so I

Colleen Borgert: confirmed via text and I’ve always got receipts.

I pulled that out and before I bought it I was like, this is the color correct. And she said, correct. But the bride, my cousin, she was so relaxed. She’s like, I don’t care. You know, ’cause I’m crying at this point. Aw. She’s like, I don’t care. You’re walking down the aisle. You know, I’m like, I’ll stand in the back.

I don’t have to be in the wedding. Like, oh,

Christa Innis: was it that different?

Colleen Borgert: Um, it was like one shade lighter. You, you could,

Christa Innis: you could tell,

Colleen Borgert: you could tell I ruined the wedding pictures for sure. Oh. But you know, this is the family. She was a great, I mean, she’s just a great person, so I got really lucky. Um, but yeah, if the bride needs me, whatever the bride needs me to do, I’m gonna do it.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. I, you know, I feel like, especially now too, it’s like I’ve seen it more weddings where the bridesmaid dresses don’t exactly match. I know. I actually love that. Yeah, I know. I feel like it’s like adding a little more uniqueness. I think, like at my wedding it was like, um, from, from Birdie Gray, which is like, you can order them all online, they’re under a hundred dollars and you just, you can pick like a color scheme.

So like, mine was like mov, but there’s like three shades of mov and people are like, what color? I’m like, I don’t care. Any of the, any of them. Any of them,

Colleen Borgert: they’re gonna look so pretty.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I just feel like. It, I feel like gone are the days where people wear the exact same dress. Right. Maybe every, I’m sure it happens here and there, but

Colleen Borgert: Yeah.

And in my wedding, um, I just did black satin. All the girls just had to do a black satin and it needed to be like t length and didn’t care other than that, so yeah, it was really unique. Like I just, I, I love the non-uniform look. Yeah. And that’s probably the Catholic school teacher in me coming out being like, eh, we don’t need a uniform up in here.

We’re

Wedding Party Love Story

Christa Innis: done with the uniforms, please. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. Let’s move into some wedding hot takes and stories. You said you have a story of how you met your husband at a wedding, so let’s get into that.

Colleen Borgert: Okay, so I met Mr. Borger. Uh, we were both in the same wedding party for my cousin almost 16 years ago.

And, um, he kind of clocked me right away and was like, that’s the girl I wanna marry. So we got to the reception, danced a little bit. Um, there was definite connection early on. We both went our own ways. Um, the next week he called my cousin, old school, got my number, called me on the telephone. I heard this man’s voice who does that anymore?

So un heard of these days. I know. And he asked me out on a date and we have been together ever since. But yeah, he went up to my cousin who was the bride, and said, I just want you to know I’m gonna marry that girl. And

Christa Innis: oh my gosh, that’s like a romantic story.

Colleen Borgert: I know I love, love.

Christa Innis: Oh my God. So how is he connected to the wedding?

Like was he like a groomsmen or He was the fiance’s or fiance, I guess your cousin’s husband.

Colleen Borgert: Yes, friend. He was, um, a longtime childhood friend of the groom. Okay. So now they get to be at family functions together and we’re like pretty our kids together. So it’s. It’s wonderful.

Christa Innis: I love that when like, they’re already kind of like connected, so there’s like no extra introduction.

It’s like he’s already kind of, you got an in, he’s got an in. Mm-hmm. Um, and then for you, it was a family wedding, so your family was probably already there. And so like did he like meet your parents then at the wedding and everything?

Colleen Borgert: Um, I don’t know if he necessarily like, met them, met them at the wedding.

Yeah. But he was invested in the fun that my family can have for sure. We are in good time, so I love that. Yeah, he, he was there for it.

Christa Innis: Oh, that’s awesome. I love that story. ’cause like, usually when I ask people like crazy stories, they’re like, I mean, I, I kind of put people, I try to not put people on the spot, but, um, I.

I love that it was like a positive good story. Yes. Because I always tell people, I’m like, people just remember these crazy moments. That’s why I share them. But like for the most part, like there are so many great wedding stories and like fun moments and just like, just like wild moments about, you know, yes.

Things hanging out. Um. Awesome. I love that.

The Great Wedding Dinner Debate

Okay, let’s get into some wedding hot takes. Okay. These are people send me on Instagram. We’ll just kind of react together and see uh, what our thoughts are. Okay. This one says buffets over plated dinners faster, more variety and fewer awkward chicken and steak texts.

I dunno what the text means, but,

oh, I just copied something. Yeah. Fewer awkward chicken and steak dinners.

Colleen Borgert: So are, are you asking which one do I prefer?

Christa Innis: It’s just a hot take that someone sent, so, yeah, I mean, you can say what you think about it. Um,

Colleen Borgert: so there, there was one summer, um, like my husband and I had been married for maybe like two years, and we legit had 10 weddings from like May until September.

Like mm-hmm. He’s five years older than me, so my friends were in like prime time wedding season. Mm-hmm. And it was almost every single wedding had the same chicken with that white gravy. I think it might. Oh yeah. Like on top with the mashed potatoes and everybody thinks that they’re doing something special when they’re not, you know, like it’s just boring.

But one of our friends catered in Qdoba at their wedding. And I have never forgotten it. Like, I have never forgotten the Qdoba wedding. And I hope that if this airs they hear this and they know how special their Qdoba wedding was to me. So, you know, I’m a, I’m a fan of a buffet, you know, poor girl from a poor neighborhood.

We loved our buffets growing up. Um, so I don’t mind a good buffet at a wedding.

Christa Innis: I know. I was just saying to someone, like when I was younger at weddings, I was like, like years from getting married, I was like, oh yeah, I wouldn’t, I don’t think I would do a buffet. I like the plated dinner. And then as I got older I was like, I love a buffet.

Like I just love it. And then of course when I got married I did a taco bar and I was like, this is where it’s at. Oh, you did the, you did

Colleen Borgert: the taco. There are people that came to your wedding that 20 years from now are gonna be like, I went to a taco of our wedding and it’s going to be you girl. Yeah. That is the wedding that they are referencing.

It’s yours.

Christa Innis: I was just like, I. Never really was a big fan of plated dinners unless they’re like, I don’t know, every once in a while. Yeah. Like surprised me. Really good. But I also worked at a hotel for, gosh, three years in college. So like I would saw all the banquet foods and I saw them and not like saying they were gross or anything, but like I saw how they would keep ’em warm and I just, I don’t know, just not my thing.

And so I was like, when there’s a buffet though, you take what you want. Maybe go for seconds, get a little guacamole in there. We’re good.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. I’m here for it. I’m here for it. And I love that you did. I can’t believe it. You did Taco. I know. You’re

Christa Innis: seko. Dopa. I was like, yes. It was pretty close. It was like a local place, but it was like, it was perfect.

Like perfect.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. Yeah. And people appreciate it.

Christa Innis: And pizza for a late night snack. Yes.

Colleen Borgert: The, the best weddings that bring out that 11:00 PM like fill your belly up snack. The best.

First Dance or Skip It?

Christa Innis: Yes. Oh, it’s the best. Um, okay. This next one says, not every wedding needs a first dance. Some couples just wanna party, so let them

Colleen Borgert: I agree.

Like if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. This is your special day. Who am I to say that you have to do something to make me feel special or this whole thing makes sense. Yeah. That doesn’t make any sense to me.

Christa Innis: I know, and I’ve heard of like parents like fighting back on it and being like, no, you need this.

And it’s like they don’t wanna be the center of attention. They don’t want that big moment. It like, it’s okay. Like no one should be forced to do anything at their wedding that they aren’t comfortable with, or that just doesn’t interest them.

Colleen Borgert: Right. Did you do a first dance.

Christa Innis: I did. Yes, we did

Colleen Borgert: too. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love it.

I love, I love a first dance. Yeah.

Christa Innis: But if they

Colleen Borgert: don’t want it, they don’t want it.

Christa Innis: Yeah. A hundred percent. We did a choreo, I’m gonna mess up the word choreographed. We practiced ourself.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh. We are not

Christa Innis: dancers either of us. I’m not. Okay. So when are you posting that to TikTok? I might have years ago.

I’m trying to think. I might have to repost it. I’m gonna get my scroll game

Colleen Borgert: on. I know. I

Christa Innis: gotta think about what I posted it. Um, probably not in a long time ’cause people were like asking about it once I, so we watched YouTube because I was like, okay, one lesson I always learn brides, if you’re listening was take some kind of dance course.

You don’t have to like pay for it. If you are doing a first dance, you don’t have to like pay for it. There’s free ones on YouTube, right. Um, and so we started doing that, like just to learn like the steps. So we, because I’ve gone to so many weddings where you can tell they’ve literally never danced together.

Right. They stand there and they just like look awkward. They just sway and they’re

Colleen Borgert: like leaving lots of room for Jesus. You know? It’s

Christa Innis: like, come on guys. Like let’s not have that first time you guys ever like, get in a room, dance together, be like in a, in front of a hundred people. Right? Right. So like I knew I didn’t want that awkward moment.

So like, we did like our step practicing and then as we were watching, or like YouTube, it was like suggestive videos and it was like Taylor Swift, uh, oh gosh, what song is it? Oh my gosh. I sounds, is her, this is her first dance. Yeah. Why am I drawing a blank? Ah, it’s Taylor. Um, oh, now I’m gonna like, have to like find it ’cause it’s gonna really bother me.

Um, but it’ll come to you in a few minutes

Colleen Borgert: and if not divorce will come. It’ll be

Christa Innis: fine. It’ll be fine.

Colleen Borgert: We’ll just pick your voice in. It’s

Christa Innis: can, I’m gonna sing it and I can’t sing. Can I go where we can? I can’t sing. Hold on, hold on. I’m a swifty. Give it to me. Be this clo forever and ever. And, and take me. Huh?

And with a, that called you’re my, my lover. Lover. Lover. I knew we’d get there eventually. Yeah. Okay. So it was to lover.

Colleen Borgert: Love that. Yeah. And there was a

Christa Innis: really cute dance on YouTube and they showed what to do. So we did like a little spin. He like picked me up in the end. Oh. And we didn’t tell anyone we were doing it.

So it was likes you

Colleen Borgert: had like your, um, baby moment from dirty dancing where he like Yeah.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. Little less graceful than that, but Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: But I do love that you told brides that they could just get on YouTube, like they don’t have to spend their money. Yeah. Just hop on YouTube. Yeah. I, I love that you remind people of that it, it doesn’t have to break the bank to be special.

Christa Innis: Yeah, exactly. Like, we literally did it in our, in our apartment living room and we just practiced like every week. I think we was like, Monday nights we’re gonna practice our dance. Yay. Okay.

No Ring, No Bring and the Reality of Guest Lists

Um, next one is no bring, no ring, no bring is totally fair. Sorry to your new hinge date of two weeks. What are your thoughts on No ring, no bring.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my thought. Okay. So my husband, my husband did not get invited to a second cousin of mine’s wedding. We were not engaged. We got engaged the next month. Okay. And during the time I was like, I can’t believe they won’t let me bring him. Like, why would they not? Mm-hmm. And now that I have children of my own and I see the cost of things and I, I see more of like that behind the curtain.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm. I

Colleen Borgert: can see that and I can respect it for what it is now. Yeah. I tell you. But when I was in the moment, it felt like, oh, my partner isn’t allowed to be here, but I, I can understand it now. I can respect it now.

Christa Innis: Yeah. No, I, I totally get that. I had a similar thing, it was my second cousin’s wedding. Gosh, I don’t even know how long ago it was.

My hu Now husband and I were just dating, but we were living together for years and they like invited, it was weird. It was like they invited all of us, but like they put like, I can’t remember, there was something weird about it, but like, we were like, oh, um, I don’t, I didn’t, I didn’t know if they like, didn’t know his name or something like, weird, but like I had been with him like longer than this couple had been.

So like they’d met him many times. Like, this is your person at this point box. Yeah. This is like very clearly my person. Yeah. Like he like plus one of the other weddings in the family, like, he’d been to their house and then this second cousin, it was like a fairly like quick like, which no hate or anything.

Of course. That’s, that’s awesome. Right. But it was fairly quick. So like, they had been together like a short time and like he wasn’t invited and I was like, oh, I’m just making sure. Yeah. And again, now looking back, I’m like, we were not that. I was not like super close with them. So I was like, I get it. And I ended up just going with my mom and my sister.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Which, you know, tho those can be fun times too. And it was fun, you know, like unexpected fun moments without, you know, the old ball and chain that, that’s fun too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I do think there’s a difference between, you know, you had been dating your now boyfriend for years and I was almost engaged versus like, oh, two weeks ago I met Jimmy, you know, down at the gas station.

Yeah. Can he come too? Yeah. Like that’s

Christa Innis: different to me. I know. I just read this crazy Reddit story this morning where it was like. This girl was demanding to be invited to her boyfriend of a few months wedding, like, or his friend’s wedding. And she, he was like, oh, I don’t get a plus one. And she’s like, well, I’m your girlfriend.

I should be able to go. And he’s like, well, they didn’t gimme one. I’m a groomsman. I don’t really wanna start anything. And she’s like, no, if you like really like me, you need to like bring me. And that’s where I’m like, it’s only three months. Mm-hmm. He’s probably only least friends for years. I don’t see like where, why you have to automatically give a plus one.

Right. I agree. I agree with that. It’s very, it’s very nuanced. I think in a lot of it, it’s not all black and white. It’s kind of like each individual thing is gonna have different. Rules. Right?

Colleen Borgert: Like we, we didn’t do kids at our wedding. We had a no kid wedding. Um, but our final total, even after we got all the nos for our RSVPs, we were up to like 370 people with no children.

Woo. Like, you know, and that is hard for people to grasp too, you know, like, what do you mean I can’t bring my kids?

Christa Innis: Yeah. But when

Colleen Borgert: you are from such a ginormous family like you. When you eliminate those kids, you’re able to say, okay, my second cousins can now come and, you know. Yeah. So I think we have to remember to pull back the curtain on everything and kind of say there, there’s always more back there than what we initially think.

Christa Innis: Oh my gosh. 375 people,

Colleen Borgert: too many.

Christa Innis: That is insane. It, it was like 360 people. Too many. Let me tell you, if you were to do it again, do you think you would do it a lot smaller?

Colleen Borgert: I would do it. I would do it so differently. I I would do it smaller. More intimate. Intimate. Is that inter intimate? Intimate. In intimate?

I kinda like intimate, but it’s intimate. Intimate, you know what I mean? I, yeah. I would make it, it would be much smaller, quaint, and just a few close people, and I would probably want to do a surprise. And just if you wanted to show up at this random thing I invited you to, you get to come to my way. Oh, I love that.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I love that. I know, I think it’s like with age, we’re kind of like, because I always tell people if I were to get married in my early twenties or something, I think I would’ve gone way too big. Invited way too many people. Mm-hmm. And you know, like I had just been outta college or something, so I’d probably had like all my college friends.

Yes. My bridesmaids. And it’s like now here I am, like 15 years or ish out of college and I’m like doing the quick math out of college and I’m like. Half those people I don’t even talk to anymore. So I’m like, I’m, I would not have wanted them at the wedding. ’cause then they’re gonna be all these pictures like, you know?

Right. And that’s exactly how it,

Colleen Borgert: you know, and, and I’m blessed and lucky and it’s easy for me to be, to say now, like, oh, I would do it differently. But that’s because I got that moment. Mm-hmm. You know, I got the big moment of, you know, all my friends, all my family. But yeah. I don’t talk to the majority of the people that were there at no fault of theirs or mine life.

Just, I’m just, yeah. You know, just happens. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: Did you get pushback with the no kids at your wedding?

Colleen Borgert: I did. There were a couple people that gave me pushback. Um, a couple family members and a couple friends. Uh, one of my bridesmaids had had her daughter like two weeks before the ceremony, so she brought her daughter to like, feed her parents came like, things like that didn’t bother me.

Yeah. But if I knew if I am, if I let. One family bring their two kids, then the next family had, and then before you know it, it’s 500 people. Right. And you know, so it’s not that the children, it was more so just I needed the number as low as possible to be able to invite all those people I no longer see anymore.

Christa Innis: Right. And then you wanted to be equal playing ground for everybody. Right. For everybody. Totally makes sense. Yeah. That’s one thing people don’t realize. And a lot of the stories I get, it’s like, they’re like, just make me the exception. Oh, my kids are fine. It’s like, well, you don’t understand if I let you bring your two kids and then yours.

And then I read a story the other day where an aunt was told it was just the aunt and uncle, and then she RSVP’d for. Her adult children who are four kids, their significant others and their kids. So, so she wrote in on the card 15 or something, extra people.

Colleen Borgert: I can’t

Christa Innis: like you’re not talking to one extra person.

You’re talking three extra tables. Two extra tables,

Colleen Borgert: yeah. Like in, in, in what world and in what mind does that aunt think that that is okay? Like I can’t wrap my mind around people that do things like that. But there’s people out there that do it. Mm-hmm. All the time. Yes. It’s crazy.

Christa Innis: It’s, it’s again that mind frame of me.

This, this is, this is gonna affect me if I can’t do it this way, or Oh, it’s fine. Right. I’m the exception. She loves me so much. Yeah. I’m her favorite aunt. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s so funny ’cause when I like do these skits, people are, I’m like, when I’m like acting them out, I’m like, oh gosh, this is so dramatic.

I’m making this 10 times worse than it probably is. And people will comment and they’ll be like, no, that exact thing happened to me. Or like, that is exactly what, yeah. Talk that way. Yeah. I’m just like, oh man, this is wild. Okay, speaking of before we get too over on our time, so are you still, are we still okay on time?

Yeah, I, I’m, I’m good. Okay. Let’s get into this week’s wedding story submission. So, as always, I’ve not read this yet, so feel free to stop me at any time and react or we’ll just kind of react together. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Let me see if I get my scroll. Okay, here we go. Here.

Bridesmaid Meets Her Groom’s Family

Hello Krista. I just wanna say I love your skits.

I have a story that still blows my mind years later. I’m not sure if it’s juicy enough to be considered drama, but it was wild for sure. Back in October of 2013, I started dating a man who was seven years older than me. I was 23 and he was 30. He had a younger sister who was exactly one month older than me.

She was the baby of the family and never did anything wrong in their eyes. She was also a teacher, which becomes important later because I’d always been, I’d always wanted to be an elementary school teacher, but had to pay for college on my own. Most of his family lived in New York or Florida, which also plays a role later.

Okay,

Colleen Borgert: hold on. So we’ve got a 30-year-old man. Mm-hmm. Dating a 23-year-old.

Christa Innis: 20. 23-year-old? Yes. Okay. And sister, who’s also 23 is my Okay. Teacher. Got it. Out of state relatives? Yes. Okay. By May, 2014, my then boyfriend had been in and out of the hospital several times for various issues, even having surgery to remove his appendix.

He thanked me for being by his side through everything and bought me a nice coach bag to show his appreciation. I had never owned a designer purse before. Then he asked my youngest sister for help, for help planning something my sister knew. I absolutely hated surprises and told me he wanted to propose and ask for suggestions.

So she’s just like, this is what he wants to do. Okay. I’m like, at what point? Okay, wait, so may They met in October, 2013 by May, 2014. So is it like a year and. No, not even, no, that’s just like six months. Oh, that’s like six months later.

Colleen Borgert: November, December, January, February. Yeah, that’s like five, six months. Oh, wow.

Okay. Okay. We are going, went

Christa Innis: along. Okay. Uh, then he asked. Okay. She gave him several ideas, so I wouldn’t know which one he’d pick or when it would happen. He also asked my biological dad for permission, which was odd because I’d always been closer with my mom. Okay. Mm-hmm. You would think he would know that, but maybe not in five months.

I mean only six months. Who knows? Who knows? Yeah. In 24, in June, 2014, he proposed and I said, yes, his youngest sister. Okay, so now his youngest sister planned a visit to our town in July, 2014 to see one of her guy friends. Okay. He messaged her brother. Okay. I’m like drawing my head. Yeah. Oh yeah. Duh. Oh my gosh.

Saying she wanted to see him and meet me. Okay. So they hadn’t met.

Colleen Borgert: And she’s getting ma. Okay. So she has yet to meet even his family at this point?

Christa Innis: Yeah, and they’re engaged. So she’s just kind of, okay. So she was just giving us background on the sister, but at this point they hadn’t even met. So he meets this girl and proposes in six months.

She hasn’t met the family. Maybe they don’t live, comes in town. Right. So she comes in town when she wants to meet. We planned everything around her visit, but when she arrived, she met up with her friend and blew us off.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, okay. To this.

Christa Innis: Oh, it gets better. I have never met her

Colleen Borgert: to this day. Hold on. Pause.

Pause one. They’re still together. I don’t, well, I don’t know if she

Christa Innis: just wrote to this day. I’ve never met her. Oh, oh. So I’m like really confused, like, is this, we’re talking 11 years later. And that 2014, unless I’m reading, is

Colleen Borgert: weird, flabbergasted. Like, so there’s nothing to indicate if the, if they are still together, except the phrase.

To this day, I still have not met her.

Christa Innis: Yeah, I’m gonna see. Let’s see. Okay. Let’s see what happens next. But I’m pretty sure she means like she just blew her off that time and then that was it. I don’t know. Okay. She says we set our wedding date for Saturday, October 25th, 2014. So about a year after they met, no one from his family was able to attend.

Oh.

Colleen Borgert: Red. Is that a red, is that a flag for you? I think it’s

Christa Innis: a red flag. Yeah. That’s a why. Okay. So Sister blew, blew them off, doesn’t go to meet her. And then no one from his family can just make it right. That, that seems red. That’s red flag. Red flags are everywhere for me. They’re, they’re popping. I’m sorry to this.

I mean, I don’t know what happens next. So, I’m sorry to this person that, that sent this in, but I’m just like, this is all very fast. Yeah. And weird that his family can’t show up.

Colleen Borgert: Right. And I think the, the, the age is like, the red flags are like popping and I’m like, hold on a second. So I’m excited to hear what comes next.

Yes. ’cause I’m trying to put it all together in my mind.

Christa Innis: Yeah, same. I know I’ve got like the family tree going on right here. Yeah, drawing here. Um, okay. Um, so no one from his family was able to attend, but they planned to watch the ceremony live on his sister and like, oh,

Colleen Borgert: 2014, is that like what on, like, how do you watch it live in 2014?

Yeah,

Christa Innis: because Facebook Did you like Zoom? Like I don’t even remember Facebook Live in 2014 because was I in 2014? Oh, I was having a baby. Okay, you’re like where? Yeah, I was having a baby. You were. But yeah. How do you I don’t know because I remember, okay, I was working at trade show. I honestly think it was 2014 at my fir, one of my first jobs outta college.

And they, my manager, I worked in marketing and she was like, look at this new app where you can live stream. And I remember her showing me, and that was before like Facebook Lives and stuff, because then I think it was bought by Facebook. So that may some, she had something, she had something, something maybe even like FaceTime and can you, you could FaceTime then, right?

I don’t even know. I

Colleen Borgert: feel like I still had a flip phone back then. Like with the A, B, C texting, you know, like, dun, dun dun. Oh my gosh. You had to hit it like three. I mean, you’re so young. Did you ever have a phone like that? I’m not that much younger than you, honestly. Oh, you look amazing Ellie. How you tell me you’re younger than me?

I’m turning 35 this year. Okay. Yes. You are a baby. You are a baby.

Christa Innis: Is that what, five years? That’s not seven. Seven. I, it’s funny though. I see seven. Oh, okay. Well, I don’t know. Yeah, it’s all, it’s alright. It’s all I feel like you’re at, I’m at the age where like. I, I was gonna say I have friends in their twenties, but I’m like, I don’t, I guess I have some friends in their twenties, but I have friends in their four, you know, like it’s Right.

You’re

Colleen Borgert: now to the point where you can go both sides.

Christa Innis: Yeah. I mean, I had an hour long conversation with my like 85-year-old neighbor last night and it was the best, like, I love chatting with her and so I’m like, I just, age doesn’t matter to me. Yeah. But, um, it’s funny, I like see 2014 and it also feels like yesterday and then I’m like, wait a second.

I have to remind myself, we’re like in the 20. That was a long time ago. Yeah, it was a while ago. Oh my gosh. Um, okay, she says, um, then on his sister’s birthday, September 26th, we’re giving some personal details though, so hopefully they don’t listen to this. Um, he was in the hospital again. I had no cell service and was too focused on my fiance.

The next day I reached out to her, to which, her belated happy birthday. So I’m confused. So. She says they never met. Maybe they just mean in person. So she talked to her. I think she has to meet in person. I,

Colleen Borgert: yeah, because she came in town in July, the sister blew her off.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: And then I’m thinking September he gets sick.

And then the wedding is in October.

Christa Innis: Yeah. That’s what it sounds like.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. So, so they just haven’t met in person. They’re a, B, C, texting each other, right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. On their flip list. Texting. Yeah. So, okay. So she reached out to Wisher, um, a belated happy birthday and apologized for missing it the day before. She completely lost it on me, calling me a horrible person for ignoring her on her birthday.

Colleen Borgert: No hard pass.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Like, we’re not like five or six years old where we like, you know, you are at this point, if she was praying like 24, like you can survive one

Colleen Borgert: day.

Christa Innis: Right. And your brother’s in the hospital. Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Like, yeah. That’s, that’s another flag flags.

Christa Innis: Huge red flag. Yes. Where, where are his parents in all of this?

Like, right, like she hasn’t really mentioned them except that they’re just not coming. They’re not coming. Which is weird ’cause it says family’s in New York and Florida. They’re in, um, Kansas City. It says. Okay. Then she insulted me saying she was a teacher and I was too dumb to finish college and get my teaching license.

Oh no. Just missing a birthday by one day and being with your brother in the hospital.

Colleen Borgert: Oh no. College. If you go to college, it does not make you any smarter than anybody else. I don’t get that many Gives, gives you a set of tools to be able to do a job. It doesn’t equate to being smarter than anybody.

Right?

Christa Innis: Yeah. And don’t, I just don’t get that mentality of like mm-hmm. Oh, I went to college and you didn’t, it’s like you probably went to college ’cause you had either a privilege to go to college, right? You had funds to go to college. You had, you don’t, you don’t know the full story of, and you’ll just choose not to.

And that it’s ally. Okay. And there’s no one’s smarter if we’re going or not going. Right? Oh

Colleen Borgert: yeah. That, that would, that would be like a, like I would feel that as a knife. Mm-hmm. Like that, that comment to me that that would stay with me. I feel like I’d carry that for a while.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh, for sure. Um, it says, after that she blocked me on everything.

My fiance was upset for a moment and then defended her saying That’s just who she is, and she’ll come around soon. Soon enough. No, someone that says that they’re not coming around Uhuh. And that’s also like, that is your

Colleen Borgert: fiance.

Christa Innis: Mm-hmm.

Colleen Borgert: This is the person that you’re getting ready to say I do too. And you’re just, he’s just gonna be okay with people being mean to you.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And see, this is where, again, I don’t know the rest of the story, so I’m sorry if it works out a different way, but like, I hope, I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t work out, but like someone that like jumped the gun really quickly to someone that was much younger than him and was like, let’s move fast. Six months from now we’re getting engaged.

My family’s not gonna be there. I don’t know. I’m getting some bad vibes and I don’t, yes. So

Colleen Borgert: I live by the rule that whoever you date, if you can subtract that amount of years and you wind up under the age of 18, it, it shouldn’t happen

Christa Innis: yet. You know? So, so if you subtract her age by their distance Yes.

Yeah. Of seven years.

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. Then I’m like, Hmm, that’s, that’s icky to me a little bit. Mm-hmm. You know, not to say that it, it, it won’t work out, and I hope that it did, and I hope that they’re happy. But that age gap, the, the life experiences that people have are so vastly different. Yeah. You know, a 30-year-old to a 37-year-old, they’ve had a lot of similar life experiences.

You know, you minus that number and it’s like, okay, they’ve been a, a grown adult for a long time, so it’s not necessarily the number that I get. Tripped up on. Yeah, it is. How much life experience is attached

Christa Innis: to those numbers? No, that’s a really, that’s a really good point. ’cause people are always like, well, my parents are this or that.

And it’s like, it’s a good point of like, well, when did they meet? How did they meet? What, what were they at in their life? Right. Um, ’cause yeah, I’m thinking like 23. Like, I was like freshly. I mean, I graduated at 23, so I was like, freshly outta college 30. Like, you’ve been in the, you know, job field for a while.

Colleen Borgert: Yes. And you know what you want in life, you know, and you know this man, he may be like, yeah, that, that’s the woman that I want. I’m going after her. You know, I’m, I’m gonna, I’m gonna get her. But was she ready for that? Could she see the red flag of hey, your fiance. He is not supporting you right now. And I think that that comes with life experience, you know, just growing into your own as a woman and, and the value that you bring to the table, you know?

Yeah. So, I don’t

Christa Innis: know. It’s a little, Hmm. Yeah, it’s a little, um, interesting. Okay. She says she never watched our wedding. Okay. So they got married and to this day, I haven’t spoken to her since September 27th, 2014. So we’re talking about 11 years. So they

Colleen Borgert: got married still. I’m so happy that they are happy.

I wanna put that out into the universe, but I’m still so confused.

Christa Innis: Well, there is still more. Oh, okay. Let’s go something. We can see what, what’s so, but she, so she said she hasn’t spoken to her. I even visited their mother’s house Oh, oh. In New York in February of 2015 where she lived. I still never saw or heard from her.

Interesting. She lived there and then didn’t show up.

Colleen Borgert: You refused to come by

Christa Innis: in November. Here we go. In November, 2014, I asked for a divorce and thanked his dad and stepmom for trying to help us through our marriage troubles. I I, can I give a I knew it. I was like, can I applaud it? Like, yes girl. I just,

Colleen Borgert: you know, and maybe it was the sister, maybe she was looking at it all being like, I can’t support this.

Like, I can’t, but No, no. Nope. I can’t validate that sister’s comment in my mind. The comment I

Christa Innis: tried. Yeah, I know. We were trying to be like, I know. And it’s like, where does that come from though? Either like where I’ve, I have a lot of questions still too. Um, it says his stepmom threatened to have his dad, my now ex father-in-law.

End my life if I ever contacted her son again. What? Because she asked for a divorce that just a whole family sounds very toxic. And red flag. She

Colleen Borgert: dodged a bullet. Like literally it sounds like she dodged a bullet. Yeah. Because the mom is like, I’m gonna enter your life. So she

Christa Innis: also very threatening, like Right.

Trolling maybe?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah. No, that, that whole 30 to 23, my flag went up immediately. I knew it. Mm-hmm.

Christa Innis: You, I, I saw your face too. And you’re like, wait, so she’s 23? He’s 30 there. Oh, six months later they went. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Um, so they were married for, wait, they weren’t even married a month because it says their wedding date was set for October 25th.

She filed for divorce in November, so it wasn’t even a full month.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my like, okay. Does she include like, where am I now? Like, do we get to heal? Hear like the healing part of all of this because, um,

Christa Innis: no, but there’s a little bit more. Okay. Because like a little more of a paragraph. Let’s see. Um, it says we got back together for a little while, but never spoke to his dad, stepmom or sister again.

I later found out his older siblings were annoyed at how much their younger sibling, younger sister got away with. I mean, at 24 she threw a fit because her brother was in the hospital and I wished her happy birthday a day late. It wasn’t like I’d forgotten entirely. Side note, I graduated a few years later after divorcing her abusive brother.

Okay, now we’re getting a little more of the context. Yes. And I’m working on my master’s degree. I also ended up teaching for a few years.

Colleen Borgert: Yay. Yes, queen. I love that. That was

Christa Innis: a happy ending because you know what? You saw your worth and you saw like, I went out of this situation and I’m glad. It was not even a month that you were just like, you know what?

I’m out. And I hope this is a lesson too for people listening that like, ’cause I’ve had, I’ve had friends before that are like, well, everything’s already paid for. We have to go through the wedding. It’s like, it’s never too late. Like just if you are in a bad relationship, it’s okay. Like it’s Right. Or Yeah.

Colleen Borgert: And, and that goes like both ways too. Like as a boy mom, having only boys, like I want them to know that as well. Like they bring worth to the table too. And they need to be love and respected. And if they need me to fake a heart attack as I’m lighting that wedding candle so that they can run out of the back door, I, ugh, I will do it.

I will do it for them. It’s never too late for happiness.

Christa Innis: Yes. No, I totally agree. I feel like we, obviously, we don’t know the full situation here, but the fact that she threw in that he was abusive, abusive. Which I kind of got the vibe he was controlling or something because of, you know, the moving so quickly and, um, him being a lot older.

But, um, yeah, that, I mean, that’s, that’s a scary situation. So always knowing in your gut or like listening to your gut about it. I hope she had someone on her side that was like, Hey, this doesn’t seem right. Right. ’cause it sounds like they went to his, his dad and stepmom for like, helping through marital issues.

So I don’t know if she had anyone on her side that was like, Hey, this guy is not right for you. Like this Also having Yeah. Also having that like third party, like, I know like, as like, you know, you, it’s nice that his parents were willing to help, but I feel like they should probably have had like a th like a therapist or something come in and Right.

Really sit them down Yeah. And be like,

Colleen Borgert: this is what we’re looking at here.

Christa Innis: Yeah. But I’m glad she got out of that because that could be very bad.

Colleen Borgert: Oh my gosh, yes. Like I, and again, it’s that life experience. Like you just don’t know. At such a young age, sometimes you do, but most part, like, you just, you don’t know what you don’t know.

Yeah. And it’s hard to see those things until that frontal lobe is developed, which is like 25, you know? So wild.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Yeah. It’s wild how like, at least like my grandparents’ age, it’s like they were like married, having kids like 19, 20, and that was like what they were expected to do. And they went to college to get their MRS and they, you know, that was their job.

Mm-hmm. And it’s just Wow. ’cause they were still children in my eyes. I’m like, you’re at 19, 20, 21. Like, you’re still a kid, right.

Colleen Borgert: You’re just a baby. Like you are still a, I’m still folding clothes for my college kid. I’m like, there’s no way you can get married right now. Like. I am folding your t-shirts for you.

Like the, it’s, you’re not ready. You’re not ready.

Christa Innis: Yeah. It’s, it’s wild. Um, well that was a wild story. Thank you to this person for sending that in because I think, um, it was a different kind of story that we’ve got, you know, and I think it’s good to kind of get all the angles of these kind of stories, and I’m really proud of you.

So, yeah.

Maid of Honor Regrets & MIL Drama

Colleen Borgert: Good job writer in person. What do you call the, what do you call, like submitter?

Christa Innis: Um, yeah, story submitter or like, I usually like online, I’ll say like op, like original or original poster, but I guess they’re not really posting it. They’re just sending it to me, so, yeah. Writer in.

Colleen Borgert: Good job. Writer in.

We’re proud of you. Yeah,

Christa Innis: we got, we’ve got great grammar over here. Oh my gosh. The number. It’s really in intimate, intimate over here. Intimate. Which honestly intimate. I think you could do something with that. Like I see, I, I worked in marketing the past like 13 years, so I always think of things you could do a mint at wedding.

It’s called an intimate, intimate listening. Oh, it’s so

Colleen Borgert: intimate here. I love it. If you’re listening, do it and then tag me in it so I can see all of your love.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Oh my gosh, I love it. Okay. I always end these on, um, a couple of confessions that people send in. So let’s read these and then we’ll get on with our days.

Okay. Okay. Um, let’s see.

Okay. This says, I kind of regret who I picked to be my maid of honor. I would’ve still had her as a bridesmaid, but yeah.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, I, I think that’s normal. You know, we kind of touched on that earlier. Just your life just changes and unfolds in different ways that you just don’t know how you’re going to need different people, and it’s okay that she was that person in your life, in that moment and that it might be someone different right now.

Like, it’s okay that both of those happened, and both of those can be true.

Christa Innis: Yeah, and I’m, I’m kind of reading it as she hasn’t gotten married yet, and she like asked them, that’s how I’m reading, but maybe I’m reading it wrong. Like, she has, she asked them to be in the wedding and so like the wedding’s coming up, but they’re like, and she wants to take it back and like, maybe it’s like the maid of honor’s not really stepping up, but I think that’s too, it’s like.

Expectations and communication too. Or maybe that maid of honor just doesn’t really know what to do or, you know. Right. Or you’re just not as close with that person. It’s hard.

Colleen Borgert: It, yeah. It’s hard and you don’t wanna hurt anybody’s feelings.

Christa Innis: Yeah. Um, this says I plan to cut my mother-in-law out of my life, regardless of what my fiance wants to do.

Colleen Borgert: Oh, Ooh. That’s gonna, that’s, that’s a, a therapy for sure. I feel like. Right. Like,

Christa Innis: yeah. I mean, I feel like if, if the, if it’s valid where like the mother-in-law’s done something like terrible turn, just treats her poorly, then I feel like the fiance should be backing her up and like Right. Being that buffer.

I feel like it should never be between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law because this is about the son or something. Right. Right. There’s

Colleen Borgert: something

Christa Innis: going on

Colleen Borgert: and it shouldn’t just be about her.

Christa Innis: Yeah. And so it’s gonna be almost impossible. To just cut out the mother-in-law if the fiance is still talking to her.

Right. So then I need like, figured out of like, who is he gonna fully support? What’s the issue here? Right. Unless you guys just don’t get along, then I don’t know how that would work. But

Colleen Borgert: then you have to figure out like you’re, you’re gonna form a family together. Mm-hmm. Like, you’ve gotta figure it out.

Christa Innis: Gotta figure it out. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Uh, okay. This last one says, my grandma’s being, my, my grandma being my biggest supporter for eloping helped me elope and deal with all of the backlash.

Colleen Borgert: I love a good grandma. Like, is there anything better than a good grandma? There’s, there’s not, the, the, there hands down top five things a good grandma.

Like, you can’t, you can’t beat it. Yeah. And one that helps you elope and then says, not only am I gonna help you do it and I’ll help you plan it, but a grandma that says, you go and then I’ll tell everyone I did it and I’ll take the heat. Like, go live your life. That’s an amazing,

Christa Innis: you need that. I remember, it’s kind of funny, like, um, so I grew up, like I grew up Ca Catholic and I, um, you know, so like with Catholic parents, like, it’s like you don’t move in before you get married, like, right.

Mm-hmm. Like you child, my grandma’s Catholic, my parents, you know, like that. So this is nothing against that. It was just like how like I was raised, you know? And um, I remember though being like, I’m so close with my grandma that when my husband and I now husband, we were gonna move in together. I told her first and she was like, that’s great honey.

I’m so proud of you and my parents were fine with it. I’m the youngest. So they were like, by that point, they were like

Colleen Borgert: right by that point they’re just like, get out of here. Yeah.

Christa Innis: But I was like, it was just funny. Like, I told my friends, I was like, yeah, I told my, my, now she’s 90. But at the time, you know, she was.

Gosh, how long have I been with my husband? It was, she was like probably 80, but I like told her first and she was like, that’s great. I’m so proud, so excited.

Colleen Borgert: See top five. You’ve got one. She’s great. Yeah, you’ve got one. I’ve got one too. My grandma, um, for her 80th birthday five years ago, she’s still here.

Um, she jumped out of an airplane. She went skydiving on her way and

Christa Innis: we all went and

Colleen Borgert: yeah, she even, you know, got a second set of dentures so that if they fell out, she would have her. She was ready. She visited all of her doctors to get like the, okay, but there’s nothing better than a good grandma.

Christa Innis: That is amazing.

Oh my gosh, I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you.

Colleen Borgert: This was so much fun. I truly enjoyed it.

Christa Innis: Good. Oh, I’m so glad. Like it was so much fun hanging out with you. And can you tell everyone again where they can follow you, find your content, and then anything fun you’re kind of working on?

Colleen Borgert: Yeah, so again, my name is Colleen Boer. You can find me on Instagram at at Miss Colleen b or at Leany Borg on TikTok. And if you are looking for educational news that is happening in this political climate, I am the teacher you want to follow. ’cause I’m gonna give it to you like it is. I love it. Awesome.

Well thank you so much. This was awesome. Thank you. Have a wonderful night.

Christa Innis: You too.

Education Hot Seats, Reality Checks & a Red Flag Romance — with Colleen Borgert